January 29, 2012

  • The Sunday Donkey Times 01-29-2012

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    Cute Alert: Baby Elephant Seal Plants A Surprise Smacker On His Pal

    January 27, 2012

    One photographer couldn't believe his luck when he snapped a young elephant seal receiving a surprise kiss from a friend as they sat on the beach.

    The snap was taken by Jan Vermeer, who was at Gold Harbour, South Georgia on a wildlife excursion.

    It's a must-go place for nature lovers, and is also home to penguins and other birds typical to Antarctica.

    The photographer told metro.co.uk: ' The elephant seals are most of the time lazy and resting on the beach. This moment they were playing in the shore and didn't take any notice of me.

    'The adults are resting on the beach and they are huge, big and smelly.'

    The location is a popular breeding site for the magnificent mammals who can reach up to 10 metres in length.

    An elephant seal will feast on aquatic delicacies including skates, rays, squid, octopuses, eels, penguin, small sharks, and large fish, some of which were spotted by the Dutch photographer on his trip.

    ' I was overwhelmed by the amazing place,' he said. 'It is for me one of the most remarkable places I have been to.

    'At the same place thousands of king penguins share the same beach, the combination of these animals provides a wow factor.

    'Other birds at this site include giant petrols - they try to catch young penguins and eggs.'

    Elephant seals spend up to 80 per cent of their lives in the ocean, and are one of nature's greatest divers, being able to hold their breath for up to one hundred minutes beneath the waves.

    Scientists have previously tracked them diving to depths of 2,388 metres.

    They take their name from the large proboscis typical to the males that resembles an elephant's trunk.

    Amazingly, despite their bulk, the creatures are very speedy on land.

    For the original article, go here.


    Editors's Note: This looks familiar for some reason. I wonder why? Oh! Yeah!

    Oh, the things you see when you don't have your gun!


    Fearless Cat Attacks Alligator As It Tucks Into Tasty Meat In Louisiana

    January 24, 2012

    A fearless - and probably hungry - moggy has been caught on camera batting away an alligator who was trying to eat its lunch at a Louisiana swamp.

    As the top predator in the river food chain, you’d expect an alligator to have first dibs over lunch.

    But when this specimen spots an inviting pile of chicken on a riverbank it doesn’t count on a furry rival being... a cat.

    The reptile’s size and jaws, filled with razor sharp teeth, hold no fear for the feline, which stands its ground even though it is one snap away from becoming a meal itself. The stand-off was caught on video by a visitor to the

    Cajun Pride Swamp Tour in Louisiana and posted on YouTube. As the alligator tries to tuck in, the outraged moggy launches a couple of swipes as ‘get him kitty!’ is overheard on the video footage.

    The bewildered alligator, specimens of which can reach 4.3m (14 feet), then slinks away to contemplate an easier and less humiliating way to eat.

    To see the video clip, go here.

    For the original article, go here.


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    Spazzz sends sock pictures!

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    Picture of the Week from @Seedsower!



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    MissSmartyPantsDear Miss Smarty Pants,

    Why do Penguins and Polar Bears live at different poles?

    Donkey

    Dear Donkey,
     
    They are polar opposites, that's why.
     
    Miss Smarty Pants


    MissSmartyPantsDear Miss Smarty Pants,

    I have posted twice as many times this year as last year on xanga! Should I post again? How long should I wait?

    Your favorite,
    Spazzzzzzzzz
     
    Dear Spazzzzzzz,
     
    You have doubled your output!  That is fantastic.  I suggest you ask the boss for a raise.  You've got the stats on your side.  Double the output of the previous year and it is only January.   Get that raise!!

    Miss Smarty Pants


    FoolOfTheWeek

    @SpazMom40 is this week's winner!

    Something about a popcorn post!


    DonkeyNewsProfile Well, that's the way it was!

    Your Donkey on the Beat, signing off until next week!


    cooked_turkey_walking_md_wht Dead Turkey Jokes of the Day

    I have been in many places, but I've never been in Cahoots.
    Apparently, you can't go alone. You have to be in Cahoots with someone.

    I've also never been in Cognito. I hear no one recognizes you there.

    I have, however, been in Sane. They don't have an airport, you have to be driven there.
    I have made several trips there, thanks to my friends, family and work.


    YouTube Today's YouTube Tune

    Hard Times Come Again No More


    Did you see an interesting news article this past week? Do you have a question for Miss Smarty Pants? Report it to the Donkey!

January 28, 2012

  • There is a xanga app for the droid!

    There is a xanga app for the droid now. I never thought that would happen! It still has a bug or two in it! I went to take a picture with it and the camera app crashed and kicked me out of my post! Maybe that is a droid bug? Who knows? Let's see if it works any better with an existing picture...

    dime
    dime

January 24, 2012

  • No Time for Nephews!

     
    Tudesday2



    Tude waits for no man! Nor nephew! Nor Donkey!


    Dead Turkey Joke of the Day

    "All generalizations are false."

    "Time is what keeps everything from happening at once."

    "Sometimes I wake up grumpy; Other times I let her sleep"


    YouTube Today's YouTube Tune

    FastBall - GoodBye


    Have you seen your Tude today??

January 22, 2012

  • The Sunday Donkey Times 01-22-2012

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    Protesters Ride Burros To Deliver Petition

    January 18, 2012

    AUSTIN, Texas — Protesters rode three burros to the Texas Capitol on Wednesday and delivered a petition with 103,000 signatures asking the governor to end the state's practice of shooting the animals in the wild.

    The Wild Burro Protection League's petition seeks to stop Texas Parks and Wildlife Department officials from killing wild burros in Big Bend Ranch State Park. The state agency considers the 300 wild donkeys that live in the park to be a destructive invader, arguing that the animals destroy the habitat of bighorn sheep, which were once extinct in the West Texas park.

    The burros compete with the sheep, which the agency recently reintroduced to the park, said Kevin Good, the special assistant to the director of Parks and Wildlife.

    The agency said there is no effort to actively hunt burros but state park officials are authorized to kill them on sight, like any other animal that wasn't naturally part of the park's habitat.

    But the league considers the burros a heritage species because the animals played such an important role in human settlement of the area. The group collected the petition signatures using a website, and organizers say the names represent supporters from all over the world.

    The burros have "been here from the 1600s living just fine without any intervention," said Gayle-Suzanne Barron, who owns an animal rescue center near Austin. "There's only about 300 or so, and they migrate back and forth between Mexico and Texas, and to kill off all of what they call invasive species is beyond comprehension."

    Barron said there were numerous animal rescue groups interested in capturing the animals and removing them from the park.

    Good, the Parks and Wildlife official, said that although past attempts to trap the animals failed, the agency would consider proposals to capture the animals from any organization that had the skill and funding to remove them.

    "The goal of state park management is to eliminate all non-native plant and animals occurring on park lands as staff time and department resources permit, in order to conserve the indigenous species occurring on these properties," Good said.

    For the original article, go here.


    Acrobatic Dog Balancing On Chain Takes YouTube By Storm

    January 18, 2012

    An acrobatic dog which can balance on a chain using just his hind legs has taken YouTube by storm and has even sparked speculation that his owner may have magical powers.

    The pooch performs his incredible act on a thin chain between two posts in what would appear to be a car park.

    With a lot of concentration and a bit of coaching from his owner, the chocolate and white pet manages to find his balance on all fours before standing up straight.

    After successfully satisfying onlookers, the dog loses his balance and hops on to the pavement.

    According to reports, YouTuber IraBrodsky2012 explained a passer-by spotted the talented dog and instantly knew he was destined for internet stardom:

    'A young woman was walking along the street and saw a dog balancing on a chain. She asked the owner if the video was on YouTube, but he replied that he had no computer and did not think it was anything special, they said.

    However, some viewers have questioned whether the dog's owner is the real talent here.

    'Amazing dog or is the guy a Jedi? (check out his hands, looks like he's using the force!)' one commented.

    For the original article, go here.


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    Tude says: Why can't we turn snow into chocolate?

    Tude says: Mom should be Fool of the Week for the birds on her turtle neck!

    ClickButton

    Spazzzz says to click it!


    Picture of the Week from @Seedsower!



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    MissSmartyPantsDear Miss Smarty Pants,

    What is the difference between "Getting Ready" and "Fixing to Get Ready?

    Donkey
     
    Dear Donkey,
     
    The difference is the order.  You are FIXIN to get ready and THEN you get ready.  Yes, I did leave the g off of fixin because that is how you say this word when you live in the south.  My brother Alec told me so.  Maybe you've heard of him... Smart Alec.

    Miss Smarty Pants


    MissSmartyPantsDear Miss Smart Pants,

    When will Donkey ever learn?

    Your Favorite,
    Spazzzzzzzzzzz

    Dear Spazzzzz,
     
    I hope never.  That is all part of the fun.  :)   We love our Donkey friend just exactly how he is.

    Miss Smarty Pants


    FoolOfTheWeek

    @MamaInkWench is this week's winner!

    She is back!


    DonkeyNewsProfile Well, that's the way it was!

    Your Donkey on the Beat, signing off until next week!


    cooked_turkey_walking_md_wht Dead Turkey Jokes of the Day

    USEFUL PHRASES AT WORK:

    I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant.

    It might look like I'm doing nothing, but at the cellular level I'm really quite busy.

    No, my powers can only be used for good.

    I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.

    I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.


    YouTube Today's YouTube Tune

    The Allman Brothers- Ramblin Man


    Did you see an interesting news article this past week? Do you have a question for Miss Smarty Pants? Report it to the Donkey!

January 17, 2012

  • No Pants Tuesday! Again!

     
    Tudesday2

    Tude says it is "No Pants" Tudesday! Again!

    No pants!!!

    I really don't know what she is even talking about!

    Donkeys hardly ever wear pants!


    Dead Turkey Joke of the Day

    Two cows were talking in  the field. One cow says, "Have you heard about the Mad Cow disease that's going around?"

    The other cow answers, "Yeah, makes you glad you're a penguin, doesn't it?"


    YouTube Today's YouTube Tune

    FastBall - GoodBye


    Did you wear pants today??

January 16, 2012

  • Friends Lock On For Now

    Due to a massive barrage of spam comments being made to images on my site, I have turned on friends lock temporarily until the issue can be resolved.

    The account spamming my comments was http://bulibuqi001.xanga.com/ which I blocked.

    The spam bots can however setup up new accounts and start the same spam from there. So for the time being I have friends lock on.

January 15, 2012

  • The Sunday Donkey Times 01-15-2012

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    Woman Who Treats Pet Kangaroo Like A Child Moves Town To Dodge Authorities

    January 13, 2012

    A woman who treats her pet kangaroo like a child has been forced to move town because she is terrified authorities may take her beloved companion away.

    Christie Carr dresses Irwin the great red kangaroo in nappies and children's clothes and even has a special car seat for him.

    The 39-year-old from Broken Arrow, Oklahoma, nursed the partially paralsyed marsupial back to heath after he fractured his neck and suffered brain damage in an accident as a joey.

    Carr offered to take Irwin home after meeting him while volunteering at a local animal sanctuary and now the companions share a bed at night.

    'He's always stealing my pillow,' she said.

    Last year, Broken Arrow's city council introduced a permit which required exotic animal owners to have a $50,000 liability insurance policy to cover any injuries inflicted by the animal.

    Devastated that she couldn't afford the insurance policy - which was paid for by an anonymous donor last year - Christie decided to take the kangaroo to her parents' house.

    Native to Australia, healthy male great red kangaroos can grow up to two metres tall, weigh more than 90kg (200lbs) and hop over seven metres in a single leap.

    However, vets have said Irwin - who cannot stand or walk on his own, although he can hop with assistance - would probably not grow larger than 22.5kg (50lbs) because of his injuries and because he has been neutered.

    For the original article, go here.


    Cat Rescued After Getting Stuck On A Sign 50ft Above M4

    January 12, 2012

    They are known to get stuck in trees but one cat with loftier ambitions needed to be rescued from 15m (50ft) above a busy motorway.

    The freezing feline was believed to have been trapped on a sign above the M4 for 24 hours before a major rescue operation was launched.

    Police set up a rolling roadblock as a crane was called in to retrieve the scared tortoiseshell cat.

    Scaffolder Hugh Norville went in the crane lift with a tin of cat food to tempt the creature  down from the sign.

    The 47-year-old said he was determined not to let animal die. ‘He was well-looked after. What made him climb onto the sign is a complete mystery,’ he added.

    ‘But whoever owns him should re-name him Lucky, because he’s used all his nine lives up in one go.’

    The cat was handed to the RSPCA after the rescue in Briton Ferry, Swansea, on Thursday last week and returned to his relieved owner.

    ‘The cat was well and truly stuck – but everyone pulled out all the stops to bring him down,’ a spokesman said.

    ‘It just goes to show what a nation of animal lovers we are.’

    For the original article, go here.


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    Spazzzz thought you should go see this!

    Notice how the donkeys are so patient with the silly human?

    ClickButton

    Spazzzz says to click it!


    Picture of the Week from @Seedsower!

    An empty road.

    The picture reminds me of a few lyrics from an old Wishbone Ash song:

    "To walk the road, the load I have to carry
    A journey's end, a wounded soul.
    There were times when I stood at death's own door
    Only searching for an answer."


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    MissSmartyPantsDear Miss Smarty Pants,

    Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here and drink what comes out"?

    Donkey

    Dear Donkey,

    It was more like this. "I wonder what will happen when I squeeze these dangly things? OH LOOK!!! MILK", but I can see how that would be confusing to most people.

    Miss Smarty Pants


    MissSmartyPantsDear Miss Smarty Pants,

    Is there a way I can arrange to have Tude get all my migraines?

    Your favorite,

    Spazzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

    Dear Spazzzzzzzzzzzz,

    You should pack them all up in a flat rate box and ship it to her. The commercial says if it fits it ships. :)

    Miss Smarty Pants


    FoolOfTheWeek

    @Donkey_Guy_10 is this week's winner!

    Something about a story?


    DonkeyNewsProfile Well, that's the way it was!

    Your Donkey on the Beat, signing off until next week!


    cooked_turkey_walking_md_wht Dead Turkey Jokes of the Day

    When the waitress in a New York City restaurant brought him the soup du jour, the Englishman was a bit dismayed. "Good heavens," he said, "what is this?"

    "Why, it's bean soup," she replied.

    "I don't care what it has been," he sputtered. "What is it now?"


    YouTube Today's YouTube Tune

    Wishbone Ash - Throw Down The Sword


    Did you see an interesting news article this past week? Do you have a question for Miss Smarty Pants? Report it to the Donkey!

January 14, 2012

January 10, 2012

  • No Pants Tudesday!

     
    Tudesday2

    Tude says it is "No Pants" Tudesday!

    No pants!!!

    Oh! Maybe I need a yellow sticky for that pic!



    Dead Turkey Joke of the Day

    Sign in butchers window: "Pleased to meat you."

    Sign on auto body shop: "May we have the next dents?"

    Sign at the dry cleaner's window: "Drop your pants here."

    Sign on a parking space at a garden nursery: "Reserved for plant manager."


    YouTube Today's YouTube Tune

    Fastball - You're An Ocean


    Did you wear pants today??

January 8, 2012

  • The Sunday Donkey Times 01-08-2012

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    Baby Macaque Rides On Back Of Wild Boar In Fukuchiyama Zoo, Japan

    January 5, 2012

    A baby monkey continues to attract visitors at a zoo in Japan after it started riding the back of its boar pal.

    The little Japanese macaque, known as Miwa-chan, has been witnessed by more than 11million people online who have watched videos of the monkey saddled-up on the back Uribo, one of the wild boars at the Fukuchiyama Zoo near Kyoto.

    The pair, who are looked after by vet Akihiro Nihonmatsu, have become so popular that they have their own book based on their life as friends, written by Akihiro.

    For the original article, go here.


    Randy The Ram Fathers 33 Lambs In 24 Hour Love Fest

    January 5, 2012

    It's certainly been a case of Randy by name, randy by nature, for this young ram. The horny little fellow managed to father at least 33 lambs after jumping a 1.5m (5ft) fence to go on his own personal ram raid.

    Randy – an 11-month-old texel ram – was only loose for 24 hours. But in that short space of time, the woolly lothario managed to breed with almost a third of a nearby flock. So far, 13 of his offspring have been born at West Lodge Rural Centre in Desborough, Northamptonshire.

    Twenty more ewes – a mix of Southdowns, Suffolks and Soays crosses – are expecting babies any day.

    Ryan Thompson, manager of the farm, called the whole situation ‘comical’. He said: ‘We got a vet out to do a animal equivalent of an ultra-sound on a few that we thought were pregnant but he came back and told us that at least 30 were due.

    ‘We don’t know how he managed it all. My wife and boys had to help out because Randy had fathered so many lambs.

    ‘When the ewes come into season, they produce a perfume that drives rams wild but we were stunned when we found out how many were actually expecting.’

    Ed Dee, who lives at the rural centre, thought he spotted Randy with  ‘a smirk on his face’ soon after he was caught.

    Mr Thompson also revealed that Randy had another stroke of luck last month when he jumped another fence to escape slaughter.

    For the original article, go here.


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    Go here to see Ormie the Pig try to get cookies!

    Tude says:

    I'm fat.
    Mom says I'm a nerd lady.
    I let the butler live (GO ME!)
    Maui: 2/1/12 6 am (you gotta do the countdown... it changes by the second! lol)
    Work stopped supplying coffee.... WHAT????????????
    Spaz has a picture of her wearing the shirt i bought her with the donkey times on it... it's cute!
    I hate when the sky craps white stuff on my lawn.

    ClickButton

    Spazzzz says to click it!


    Spazzz's Fool of the Month Award

    The Spazzzz Fool of the Month Award goes to @DingDongDingBat!

    For a joke about men!


    Picture of the Week from @Seedsower!

         

    Time to play!


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    MissSmartyPantsDear Miss Smarty Pants,

    When all is said and done, who said it and who did it?

    Donkey
     
    Dear Donkey,
     
    Naturally that refers to me.  I say lots of things.  Sometimes I even do things, but mostly I have minions to do things for me.
     
    Miss Smarty Pants


    MissSmartyPantsDear Miss Smarty Pants,

    Why is a second hand called a second hand when really it's the third hand?

    Your Favorite,
    Spazzzzzzzzzzzzzz
     
    Dear Spazzzzzz,
     
    Unless you have a Mickey Mouse clock, they aren't hands at all.
     
    Miss Smarty Pants


    FoolOfTheWeek

    @SpazMom40 is this week's winner!

    For doing her yearly xanga post!


    DonkeyNewsProfile Well, that's the way it was!

    Your Donkey on the Beat, signing off until next week!


    cooked_turkey_walking_md_wht Dead Turkey Jokes of the Day

    Milk and Eggs

    This is a story which is perfectly logical to all males:

    A wife asks her husband, "Could you please go shopping for me and buy one carton of milk, and if they have eggs, get 6."

    A short time later the husband comes back with 6 cartons of milk.

    The wife asks him, "Why did you buy 6 cartons of milk?"

    He replied, "They had eggs."

    (I'm sure you're going back to read it again!)


    YouTube Today's YouTube Tune

    All My Loving - The Beatles


    Did you see an interesting news article this past week? Do you have a question for Miss Smarty Pants? Report it to the Donkey!