Happy Birthday @Seedsower!
I wuuuzzzzz going to do a post today, and a brilliant one at that, but...
I could not think what to post!
It used to be I would steal stuff from good xanga posts...
But everybody is over playing on Facebook...
Maybe I should go play on Facebook?
From Seedsower - Looking East
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Dead Turkey Joke of the Day
I had amnesia once or twice. You know how it is when you go to be the subject of a psychology experiment, and nobody else shows up, and you think maybe that's part of the experiment? I'm like that all the time. |
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Today's YouTube Tune |
Police Alert Over Zebra Crossing As Circus Animal Disappears In Middle Of The Road It’s no optical illusion… this is a real-life zebra crossing.
The animal led police a merry dance around the city of Bitburg, in Germany, 200km (125miles) west of Frankfurt, when it escaped from a circus then suddenly vanished from view. Baffled officers couldn’t understand where the zebra had disappeared to – then realised its black and white markings were the perfect disguise to blend in with striped markings at a road junction. The camouflage confusion sounds like a tall tale, but police say it took them a few seconds to realise the circus performer was standing directly in front of them as it stood motionless in the middle of the road. Police say the animal showed no fear as cars drove past the unusual sight. It obediently waited in the road until a circus keeper came to collect and return it to the Big Top. ‘Everything went smoothly in the end,’ a police spokesman told German newspaper Bild. For the original article, go here. |
Garfield-esque Cat Can Only Just Squeeze Through Tiny Door A cat resembling Garfield carries all the same characteristics as the lovable cartoon feline: a passion for food and slight resentment towards dogs.
A video posted on YouTube shows this fat cat desperately trying to squeeze through a tiny dog flap to get inside his house. In the 23-second clip, the frustrated kitty manages to get two legs inside before meowing loudly and taking a small moment to reflect on the weighty task ahead. He then frantically scratches at the floor to find something to grip onto before successfully hauling the rest of his oversized body through the tiny dog door. Owner Linda Joiner posted the video of her tubby ginger tabby online last month saying: ‘My 26lb cat won’t stay outside. Here he is squeezing through the small doggie door.’ It is not clear where the cat, who weighs over a-stone-and-a-half, is from or what his name is, however, it is clear he might need to rethink his entrance strategy. To see a youtube vidoe of the cat going through the door, go here. For the original article, go here. |
 Dear Miss Smarty Pants,
Why aren't fish smarter? I mean - they spend so much time in schools! Sincerely, Dear Donkey, The fish are plenty smart enough. It's the people that aren't smart enough to develop a fish IQ test to SHOW us how smart they are. Miss Smarty Pants |
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Dear Miss Smarty Pants,
People always talk about time! They say time flies when you're having fun, and they say time passes faster when you get older like a toilet paper roll spins faster as it gets towards the end of the roll! Now which is it? Does time fly or does it spin? Your favorite, Dear Spazzzzzzz, Time doesn't fly or spin. The song clearly says it is slippin...into the future. |
Something about white-water rafting!
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Well, that's the way it was!
Your Donkey on the Beat, signing off until next week! |
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Dead Turkey Jokes of the Day
Q: How do you know when a Texas Aggie has been making chocolate chip cookies? Q: What job function does a Texas Aggie have in an M&M factory? Q: Do you know why the Texas Aggie got fired from the M&M factory? |
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Today's YouTube Tune |
Its Hump Yard Day!
So what the dickens is a hump yard you might ask? Well, its a place where trains hump! For a more detailed explanation, I will borrow from Hump Yard on Wikipedia:
A classification yard or marshalling yard (including hump yards) is a railroad yard found at some freight train stations, used to separate railroad cars on to one of several tracks. First the cars are taken to a track, sometimes called a lead or a drill. From there the cars are sent through a series of switches called a ladder onto the classification tracks. Larger yards tend to put the lead on an artificially built hill called a hump to use the force of gravity to propel the cars through the ladder.
These [Hump Yards] are the largest and most effective classification yards with the largest shunting capacity — often several thousand cars a day. The heart of these yards is the hump: a lead track on a hill (hump) over which the cars are pushed by the engine. Single cars, or some coupled cars in a block, are uncoupled just before or at the crest of the hump and roll by gravity into their destination tracks in the classification bowl (the tracks where the cars are sorted).
Chicago Hump Yard
Bailey Yard
The World's Largest Railroad Classification Yard
Union Pacific Railroad's Bailey Yard in North Platte, Nebraska, is the largest railroad classification yard in the world. It was named in honor of former Union Pacific President Edd H. Bailey. If the University of Nebraska Cornhuskers were to play here, they'd have enough room for 2,800 football fields.
This massive yard covers 2,850 acres, reaching a total length of eight miles, well beyond the borders of North Platte, a community of 25,000 citizens. Put end-to-end, Bailey Yard's 315 miles of track would reach from North Platte in western Nebraska east past Omaha on the Iowa border along the Missouri River.
Every 24 hours, Bailey Yard handles 10,000 railroad cars. Of those, 3,000 are sorted daily in the yard's eastward and westward yards, nicknamed "hump" yards. Using a mound cresting 34 feet for eastbound trains and 20.1 feet for those heading west, these two hump yards allow four cars a minute to roll gently into any of 114 "bowl" tracks where they become part of trains headed for dozens of destinations. Together, these two yards have 18 receiving and 16 departure tracks.
Some people don't like their railroad cars getting humped - so they put signs on the cars:
I have read around on various railroad sites - apparently these do not hump signs are frequently ignored - and they get humped anyway!
Happy Hump Day!
Donkeys in the grass? Alas!
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Dead Turkey Jokes of the Day
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It was the early 1960's just after one of my dad's transfers, and my mom and dad contracted to have a house built - their dream house!
We lived in that house for about 5 years...
Before my dad got transferred again.
They did not build anymore dream houses after that.
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Dead Turkey Joke of the Day
Two men debate whether Hawaii is pronounced "HaVaii" or "HaWaii." They ask a passerby, who answers "Havaii." "Thank you," says the satisfied first man. "You're velcome," replies the passerby. |
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Today's YouTube Tune |
From Wikipedia:
The blackberry is a widespread and well known shrub; a bramble fruit (Genus Rubus, Family Rosaceae) growing to 3 m (10 ft) and producing a soft-bodied fruit popular for use in desserts, jams, seedless jellies and sometimes wine. Several Rubus species are called blackberry and since the species easily hybridize, there are many cultivars with more than one species in their ancestry.
The blackberry has a scrambling habit of dense arching stems carrying short curved very sharp spines, the branches rooting from the node tip when they reach the ground. It is very pervasive, growing at fast daily rates in woods, scrub, hillsides and hedgerows, colonising large areas in a relatively short time. It will tolerate poor soil, and is an early coloniser of wasteland and building sites. It has palmate leaves of three to five leaflets with flowers of white or pink appearing from May to August, ripening to a black or dark purple fruit, the "blackberry."
Yum! Fresh, wild blackberries! Every summer, around 4th of July, my family would make the trek across the midwest back to the old abandoned family farm in Butler County, Pennsylvania. There were 100 acres of old farmland, with and old farm house and a lot of broken down farm buildings, and a few old discarded vehicles. (That's where my dad got the side lamp off his grandfather's old Model T Ford.) My dad and his brother and brothers-in-law would spend 3 weeks cutting brush and burning it. Half the acreage was covered in pine trees that my dad and his mom had planted in the mid 1920's. The other half was overgrown fields. Oh, and there was a frog pond, too.
One of the things the kids would do (besides getting lost in the woods and getting poison ivy rashes, was to collect pots full of wild blackberries! We would eat half the hall before we got back to the old farm house.
Yum! Picked right off the bramble bush!
Now the best berries were always deep in the bramble bush, so you invariably got the dickens scratched out of you by the thorns as you waded your way through the bushes. But if anything was worth it, that was. Yum!
A measly haul!
The picture above is from somebody's Internet site, they were so proud of their haul of blackberries! But this is but a drop in the bucket compared to what we used to haul in! Yum! Now sometimes the brambles cutting into your poison ivy rash was a bit painful - but yum!
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Dead Turkey Joke of the Day
A man runs to the doctor and says, "Doctor, you've got to help me. My wife thinks she's a chicken!" The doctor asks, "How long has she had this condition?" "Two years," says the man. "Then why did it take you so long to come and see me?" asked the shrink. The man shrugs his shoulders and replies, "We needed the eggs." |
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Today's YouTube Tune |
Giant KFC Bucket Randomly Appears In Family’s Front Garden Here’s one thing you wouldn’t expect to see upon leaving your house for work.
A family in rural Waynesboro, in the US state of Georgia, were left stunned after a 7ft Kentucky Fried Chicken bucket appeared overnight in their front garden. Shocked mother Aleena Headrick immediately phoned her sons to verify what she was seeing, although they were left disappointed by the lack of fried chicken inside. ‘You just don’t expect to see that when you leave your house,’ she told ABCNews.com. ‘There’s not a road where it’s at and we have dogs that would have barked, you know, if anybody was nearby.’ Ms Headrick added: ’It was surprising that it’s all of a sudden sitting in the corner of my front yard.’ KFC, sensing a golden PR opportunity, promised to send them some free chicken to enjoy next to the giant bucket. ‘We have been in touch with her and we’re working on a date when we can deliver Kentucky Fried Chicken and all the fixings for her and her family,’ said a spokesman. The bucket, believed to have been left by the family’s sign-collecting landlord, has now become a tourist attraction. ‘Some people have come to take pictures with it,’ added Ms Headrick. ‘We’ve got people going across our yard all morning long to go take pictures.’ For the original article, go here. |
Puppy Prefers Surfing Down Stairs On Its Belly One little labrador puppy has discovered the trick to getting down stairs the easy (or maybe slightly painful) way.
A ten-second YouTube clip titled ‘Chocolate lab puppy stair surfing again’ shows the excited puppy hastily making his way towards the stairs before effortless gliding down on his front and happily jumping off at the end. With such precision, skill and dedication in getting from A to B, the stairs-surfing pooch makes belly-sliding down each step look ‘hystairical’. And he certainly appears to be enjoying himself as he wags his tail on every step. Whilst the name, age and location of the wannabe- tobogganist have not been revealed, the owners said it was ‘our puppy’s favourite way to get down the stairs each morning’. The video clip posted by the dog’s owner, LabLover2013, and has already clocked up over 312,000 views. For the original article, go here. |
I love Spazzz!
Spazzz:
I love Tude!
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Dear Miss Smarty Pants, Did Spazzz break Xanga this time - or did it just fall apart by itself? Is it fixed yet? Donkey Dear Donkey, |
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Dear Miss Smarty Pants,
Why does everyone think I broke Xanga?
Your Favorite,  Have some chocolate. You seem a bit defensive. |
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Well, that's the way it was!
Your Donkey on the Beat, signing off until next week! |
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Dead Turkey Jokes of the Day
Eddie was driving down the road and a met a car coming the other way. Although there was room to pass easily, Eddie forced the oncoming car to slow down and wound down his window and shouted 'Pig' . The other driver looked in his rear view mirror and swore at Eddie. Then his car hit the pig. |
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Today's YouTube Tune |
What do you dream about?
