March 30, 2008

  • The Sunday Donkey Times

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    Visitor Brings Horse to Hospital to See Sick Relative

    Monday, March 24, 2008

    Most hospital visitors turn up with a bunch of grapes and some flowers. But one well-wisher thought it would be better to take the patient's favourite pet –  though, unfortunately, it was a horse.

    The visitor went unnoticed with the animal as they went through reception and they even made it up three FLATfloors in a lift.

    However, they fell at the final hurdle when security spotted the pair as they were about to surprise the sick relative.

    The guards did allow the patient to briefly see his unlikely visitor – but he was disappointed to find that it was not even his own beloved steed but a different horse.

    The visitor claimed no members of staff were in reception when he arrived and he shouted to try to attract someone's attention.

    Security said the horse left 'just a few scuff marks' in the hospital before it was returned to its trailer in the car park.

    A spokesman for Wilcox Memorial Hospital, in Hawaii, said cats and dogs were the only pets welcome at the hospital.

    He added: 'Our greatest concern is patient care. 'We just hope people understand this is not a place for a horse. It's a very dangerous thing.'

    For the original story, go here.

    Donkey Bows Out of Ballet

    Tuesday, March 25, 2008

    Russia's Mariinsky ballet has said farewell to one of its longest-serving artistes: a 21-year-old donkey named Monika.

    The animal is to be pensioned off after 19 years carrying the knight's overweight servant Sancho Panza around the stage in productions of the ballet Don Quixote.

    The Mariinsky, previously known as the Kirov, is one of Russia's foremost ballet troupes.

    At her farewell party, Monika danced a waltz with one of the Mariinsky's ballerinas and was presented with retirement gifts of carrot cake, a pinafore and a kerchief. Her role will be taken over by a female donkey named Alina.

    'She loves to perform and she loves applause,' said Tatyana Solomatina, a spokeswoman for St Petersburg zoo, where Monika lives between performances.

    'She knew the exact time to appear in the ballet, even without someone accompanying her.'

    For the original story, go here.

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    Tude sent me a picture of Spazzz wearing Tude's bra stuffed with socks!

    She thought it was perfect for the SpaziTude Living section!

    The Editor, who decidedly likes breathing, pondered the picture for a moment and decided perhaps it would be OK with a strategically placed postit note:

    There! That's good!


    • A dentist and a manicurist fought tooth and nail.
    • A will, is a dead giveaway.
    • In a democracy it's your vote that counts; in feudalism, it's your Count that votes.
    • A chicken crossing the road: Poultry in motion.

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    Note: Miss Smarty Pants is taking the day off! Tdoay's questions are reprinted from an earlier edition.
    MissSmartyPants Dear Miss Smarty Pants,

    Why does it snow so much in Rochester, NY? Is the snow any different in NY than it is in Colorado or Alaska?

    Sincerely,

    Totally Snowed

    Dear Snowed,

    Of course it is different. If it were all the same, just think how
    big those snowflakes would have to be to reach from coast to coast and
    all the way across the middle of the country too. WOW!

    Warmly,

    Miss Smarty Pants

    MissSmartyPantsDear Miss Smarty Pants,

    What does Spazzz want for Christmas and why does she want it?

    Sincerely,
    Spazzzz's Secret Friend

    Dear Secret Friend,

    We all know Spazz likes chocolate. And we also know Spazz likes
    socks. I think if you found some chocolate socks thus combing two of
    her favorite things, she would be very bouncy. Mostly she likes
    surprises. I think she would be very surprised to get chocolate socks
    in her stocking. That would be socks in stockings... a good title for a
    Dr. Seuss poem. hmmmm

    Sincerely,
    Miss Smarty Pants


    FoolOfTheWeek

    SoonerRose and Just_dreamin58 are this week's winners!

    They are celebrating their birthdays.

    Their ages add up to 100 years.

    They don't look a day over 49!


    Gift shopping? Go here!

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    DonkeyNewsProfile Well, that's the way it was!

    Your Donkey on the Beat, signing off until next week!
    cooked_turkey_walking_md_wht Dead Turkey Jokes of the Day

    I had some eyeglasses. I was walking down the street when suddenly the prescription ran out.

    I got food poisoning today. I don't know when I'll use it.
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    Bridge Over Troubled Water
    Did you see an interesting news article this past week? Report it to the Donkey!

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