August 24, 2013

• The Sunday Donkey Times 8-25-2013

  Zedonk Hybrid Born at Ga. Wildlife Preserve July 28, 2010 A zedonk, an unusual cross between a donkey and a zebra, is attracting attention at the Chestatee Wildlife Preserve in Dahlonega after being born there about a week ago. The animal, which has a zebra father and donkey mother, has black stripes prominently displayed on her legs and face. C.W. Wathen, the preserve's founder and general manager, said the foal has a zebra's instincts. Wathen said she sits up instead of lying on her side, as if she's staying alert for predators. Donkeys and zebras don't usually mate, but zedonks turn up occasionally. Wathen said that in about two weeks, the zedonk will begin roaming the property with the rest of the animals. For the original article, go here. Bear Steals Car July 27, 2010 Ben Story will never leave a day-old peanut butter sandwich in his car  again. "I don't have a car now. I'm stuck in Larkspur," the clearly downtrodden 17-year-old said as he surveyed what remains of his 2008 Toyota Corolla. Early Friday morning near Larkspur, Colorado a curious and probably somewhat hungry bear opened a door to his car and climbed right in. Apparently the bear nudged the gear shift, put the car into neutral, and went along for the ride as the car slid 120 feet down a hill. When the car finally came to a rest next to a patch of scrub oak, the door slammed shut trapping the bewildered bear in the process. That's when the real damage started. It took two hours for Douglas County Sheriff's deputies to come up with a way to get the big guy out. That left a lot of time for the bear to throw a temper tantrum. "You should see the inside of my car," Story told a somewhat dubious friend over the phone. "It's gone. It's completely trashed." The stereo is missing. The dash is thrashed. The seats are all torn up, and there's apparently a very pungent reminder of what bears normally do in the woods sitting on what remains of the driver's seat. "Smells delicious," Ben's 15-year-old sister Becky said with a grin. This all started around 3 a.m. on Friday when a neighbor heard the horn from the Toyota go off repeatedly. The neighbor thought someone was up to no good so she called 911. When deputies arrived they expected to find a human inside that car. So did a somewhat groggy Ben. "That was my first thought, yeah. I thought my dad's going to kill me, my car is going to be gone and I knew that I hadn't locked it," he said. He thought someone was trying to steal it. Now he knows better. "A bear stole my car," he said. The Colorado Division of Wildlife got the bear out the car by using a rope to get the door open. It then left the area in a hurry. The bear should be fine and the DOW says they will keep an eye on it to make sure it doesn't come back. The insurance company has already agreed to compensate the Story's for the damage. It was likely totaled. "We got a great story," Ben's father Ralph said. "We now got something to put in the Christmas letter." For the original article, go here. I've been known to drink twenty-seven gallons of water in ten minutes. Spazzz went camping! On the beach! She saw a sailboat. Lots of sailboats! These are her camp pajamas! This is the morning campfire! She sent eggs to Tude! Dear Miss Smarty Pants, Why do mathematicians think pie are square? I always thought they were round! Hungry Historian   Dear Hungry Historian, That is the silly thing mathematicians do to figure out how many pieces of pie they can each have.  They made up something to find out how much pie was available using pi and squares.  Silly mathematicians.  Miss Smarty Pants Dear Miss Smarty Pants, Why does Tude want to go to Saratoga Springs? Is she thirsty? Donkey Dear Donkey, She is interested in the Landshark Luau and the afterparty.  She is hoping for a bunch of bananas, but since she thinks we all believe she doesn't like bananas, she has to go out of town for this soiree.  Have fun Tude!   Miss Smarty Pants @Donkey_Guy_10 is this week's winner! Well, that's the way it was! Your Donkey on the Beat, signing off until next week! Dead Turkey Jokes of the Day Q: If you're an American in the living room, what are you in the bathroom? A: European! Q: How do you get holy water? A: Boil the hell out of it. Q: What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup? A: Anyone can roast beef. Today's YouTube Tune Reason To Believe - Wishbone Ash Did you see an interesting news article this past week? Do you have a question for Miss Smarty Pants? Report it to the Donkey!

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