April 17, 2013
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Holding a Grudge
Do you ever hold a grudge?
Not too many months ago, someone commented on one of my posts that I was an idiot.
Generally, when someone starts calling me names, I elect not to pursue the conversation.
I usually mention the reason I am not pursuing the conversation any further.
If someone thinks you are an idiot, why would they want to talk with you anymore anyway?
And I do not think it wise to go in for seconds on personal insults.
It seems very unfortunate - but I don't think this is holding a grudge.
I mean - what do you say? I am sorry you think I am an idiot?
Then the other day I noticed it appears that someone else has blocked me!
I have no idea why that would be.
If I have given offense to someone it would certainly be nice to know how!
Do you hold grudges?
Comments (17)
i called dumb-dumb (aka Dr D, before he was Dr D) dumb once (hey, he backed into my car... in the driveway... parked in the same place its been parked for years... dumb was the first thing that came to my mind!)
anyhow... i called dumb-dumb dumb once... he said to me 'you can call me an idiot, but i am NOT dumb'...
i'm still trying to figure that out.
is holding a grudge the same thing as being angry? or hurt? i guess i always felt that a grudge is something held purposely... or with an unwillingness to forgive. that seems different than when the hurt is so deep and personal that working on forgiveness is a project, takes time and isn't an unwillingness but instead an inability because of the depth of the pain. sometimes the hurt is recurring so you need to walk away and what seems like a grudge to others is actually self-protection.
so... is there a difference? if not... yup... i hold grudges... but i dont want to.
I'm sure I have held quite a few grudges in my lifetime, being a woman and all..
Petty stuff though, is just that, and I can ignore it. If somebody hurts my feelings, is when the grudge match starts. I tend to give the silent treatment, in lieu of anything else. It's quite effective. Forgiveness on the inside, comes somewhat easy, but I don't ever forget. Nowadays, I'm getting too old to have any serious grudges. Life is too short.
You are an awesome donkey and if they can't see that? THEIR LOSS!
And I'm going to share this comment!
And good for you for taking the high road. Very classy.
I don't think I hold a grudge, although I have not yet forgiven my ex-sin-in-law for what he did to my daughter. I do pray for him though.
Anway, I would never hold a grudge against you. You are my favorite donkey.
You are right; Why would someone want to continue a conversation with someone who just called them an idiot? Avoidance helps thwart it from escalating.
Perhaps a different conversation later can happen, once things cooled down. That's forgiveness. Holding a grude/unforgiving usually hurts the person who was hurt even more by keeping them at that bad moment rather than letting them move on. The attacker often forgets quicker and doesn't dwell on it, but the attacked continues on with upset and anger, for hours, days, or even years depending on the "crime". Forgiveness doesn't mean the deed done is now considered ok, it just means that you choose not to dwell on it and let it affect your current state or future actions. Therefore forgiveness is freeing.
Even knowing this, I have been guilty in the past of holding grudges, yes. Big ones, like against my parents and my ex-husband.
Boo to holding a grudge. LOL at the profile photo. Theo Dan needs to see it.
it depends on how big of an issue it was in the first place to create the bad feelings. sometimes I will try to hold a grudge, if only to spare myself from being a sucker and going back for more ill treatment. it doesn't work very often though lol
I'm like your mother's age and I can't see why everybody won't love you
a lot of people have nothing better to do with their time than start arguments with people they'll never see in person, so they feel they can say whatever they want with no repercussions, and what's the easiest way to start a fight? call someone a name and see how quickly things will escalate. I wouldn't take it personally! that burden is on their shoulders, and people who choose to be that rude need to suffer the consequences of their words. as for holding grudges? it all comes down to what happened, who did it, and how much they've screwed around with me in the past, y'know? but I can definitely hold huge grudges when I find them necessary.
@Texasjillcarmel - Oh! To be so young again! My mom died last fall at 90! You might be as old as me?
what?...me hold a grudge?...nah not for very long...and if'n it was me that did any insulting I is truely sorry...but hey I haven't used sarcasium in quite a while either...lol...guess I's a bit sick or under the weather still...
There is one person on here who has asked to be my friend, then deleted me, then asked to be my friend again,(stupid me gives her the benefit of the doubt & accepts her!) only to be deleted again!! And believe it or not, she came back and asked to be my friend for a 3rd time! But I just ignored her, and let the grudge begin! But it it didn't last long. I try to just shrug my shoulders and say,Whatever!
my mom is 87yr old and I still can't see why anyone won't like you.
my mom is 87yr old and I still can't see why anyone won't like you.
I might call you an ass but not an idiot.
Bizarre that someone would block you. The only people who blocked me were atheists, some years ago when they and I used to comment on Revelife. I usually only block spammers.
I have never once thought you were an idiot. A jack ass definately, but not an idiot! I don't hold grudges. I figure as long as God can give me a second chance I will give my brethren a second chance too. I imagine that is what God wants me to do.